Skip to main content

Posts

What Now?

It has been a week since the board exams for Psychometrician were over. And I feel like I need time to rest and rejuvenate myself. In short, I have just been on the computer watching YouTube videos, movies and Criminal Minds (I'm currently on season 7). There are still things I need to do to finish up completely my school life, but I can't pick myself up to do it. I know I'll do it sometime this week but right now, and for the past week, there's just something that makes me lethargic and lazy. I've got around less than 4 months before we leave for the States and so much I want to accomplish before that. For some reason, I feel like if I don't do it here, I won't be able to do it there. Or it may take some time before I am able to. I just have to do it. Because it's for me. And honestly, the only thing stopping me is myself.
Recent posts

September 8, 2017

It's 9:28 and I'm slowly realizing
This is goodbye
We never were meant to be

And with every word I sing
And every chord I play
A little piece of me lets you go

Yet one trivial piece I know will stay
You've left a mark on me
Which I will remind me everyday

That day we danced underneath the moonlight
I see you slowly disappear
The warmth of your touch leaves me
Until only I am left
My world is at a standstill

August 5, 2017

Betrayal.
You had fallen in love with your best friend.
It wasn't so surprising though. Everyone falls in love with your best friend. Everything about him is lovable, being around him feels like the perfect vacation and when he smiles at you, his eyes ground you, making you feel like the most important person in the world.
You've known him for 15 years, and maybe you've been falling for him all that time. But suddenly, it had become so painful to hide and pretend you're not hurting. Everyone says you're the complete opposite of each other, as day and night are. He was the sun, you were the moon. He was light and you were darkness. Being a part of his life felt like two magnets repelling each other. Both of yours and his parents though, believe you two would end up together. He would just shrug it off with a good-natured smile while you would roll your eyes and scoff.
You didn't want to end up with him though. Because you know you'd be that unwanted black ho…

Anxiety, Procrastinating and Perfectionism

I'm an INFJ. When I took the MBTI test for this and got my results, I felt so... understood. I felt much more secure in who I am and my preferences. I've always thought nobody could fully understand how I work but here we are. But I also found a sort of peace with myself. I'm a human being. I'm complex. And although this test was pretty accurate in describing me, it's still not all of me, and that's okay.
I've always known I'm a perfectionist. I want things done in the right way, at all times. If there's something I must do, I do it with utmost care and precision. If not, I'm not going to do it. That is why I procrastinate. Back then, it was so confusing and frustrating whenever I find myself procrastinating. If I'm a perfectionist, I should do everything asked of me with the right amount of time and never a second late, better if done early. So why do I procrastinate? It was the complete opposite. But when I read about why I procrastinate a…

June 27, 2017

I felt older than him but maybe it's because I had to grow up fast. I did't have the same childhood he did or the same environment and people. He gave me back the innocence and warmth and empathy I failed to experience. He is a pure soul. So warm and loving. He's like the sun I was deprived of and now that I've basked in his warmth, the only way I can survive is around him.

June 13, 2017

Everything came back.
I held on to his sleeve, making him pause. He turned to me, a question on his face. "I remember you. I remember everything". His face lit up and in that exact moment, when the setting sun behind lit a halo around him, I realized, finally accepted. He saw it, but not understanding fully and he pulled me to him and himself towards me. Softly enveloping me in a hug and my tears started to slowly fall. I love you. Dear God, I love you so much. I closed my eyes, wishing I'd forget this moment. And never remember ever again.

Hello!

Hello, hello!
So. Intro blog post.
My name's Patricia Valle and I live in the Philippines. Born in 1996, is a fresh college graduate from the University of Santo Tomas. As I am currently writing this, I am reviewing and preparing for the Psychometrician Board Exam on October. I am not enrolled in any review centers so it's all on me. Haha! In a few days, I will be going on a trip to Cavite with my extended family to go swimming (even though it has been officially the rainy season for a few days now). And then the week after, I will be going to Cebu for a week with my family. What the exact plans for the vacation is, I don't know. I just know we'll be there for a week. So. What is this blog for?
My first love is reading. I don't know when it started but I remember always reading and re-reading the fairytale books given to me and always loving the books gifted to me as a child. But I distinctly remember when I came to realize and when my love for reading and books …